CONCRETE_OLYMPUS_

wrappers in a landfill  slowly unscrunching chrysalises 80/20 air and plastic chirruping waste in the haze waking up the meadow became a dump the dream was unwrapped and the packet bobs in the toilet bowl

  I’ve not got thinner I can’t use the word thinner anymore I’m just trying harder to wear old clothing but my old duvet lumps still sag under thin skin a determined middle-aged barrel no longer filled with beer but still undeniably youthless love handles  and lust bumpers I’m not fat  but my bones have hand bags filled with nothing but air clumsily taking up cupboard space  with their misshapen slump hold me but don’t grab a hold of me don’t kneed my belly with little fists only look at me front on allow me to try the medium remind me to appreciate this flesh today because it has an agenda of its own

  I’ve searched for this feeling with drugs, alcohol, music and sex but here  right now this big white jelly fish floating in the sea with his sons by his side the world in a bag in the sand beautiful oblivious strangers all around and the sun burning our round shoulders to remind us that this can only be a moment

What now becomes a sobering thought?  I remember my first head rushes from nicotine and poppers and a jelly fish imploding through my eyes Weed shrunk me down to a stone submarine searching through my blood Acid threw me out of my body into boneless low tides Cocaine rushed too fast ahead of me and my well thumbed fiver Ecstasy filled my body with a glittering gas from another atmosphere, gifting me a personality Ketamine buried me in a carpeted six foot grave Magic mushrooms connected me to everything but my self But then alcohol became the thing that ingested me Driving its cordycep tendrils and walking me around - Convincing me that it was my feet always on the ground   Now the home owner is always home  Fumbling for fillings or a new hello Approaching sobriety like an addict